Monday, April 28, 2014

Cheers To Bully – Free Kids

Good Morning!!!!
How’s your Monday mga mudrakels and friends?
Ako? Busy ako. Ganto ako ka busy oh!

Joke lang! That was 2 weeks ago. Pero seriously, ganyan nga ako ka busy sa trabaho. Heheheh =)

Anyway, I would like to make chika about one of my girlfriends here at work. Nagpaalam naman ako sa kanya so regardless kung pumayag man sya o hindi, iba blog ko pa din ito. 
Hahaha. =)

I am on lunch break when she approached me and made kwento of what happened to her while I was downstairs buying something to eat for lunch. She was walking around our office daw when she met these two lady officemates along her way. When she passed them, she overheard the other lady said “Ang panget nya!” or something into that sort. My friend felt bad kasi she thought na it might be her they’re talking about.
She approached me to tell the story. She said na na highblood daw sya at nabu bwisit and everything she could ever feel. There was a time din daw kasi when they were in restroom, when she stepped out, she overheard one said “Maganda  ba sya?” eh silang tatlo lang naman daw ang nasa restroom. I gave her an idea na baka naman hindi sya ang pinag uusapan which she also has in mind but still, she felt bad.
I told her na wag na lang pansinin. Those two ladies known to be the not-so-approachable officemates. I mean, they are pero there were some characteristics in them that annoys us so much. They were so noisy specially Nicole. Oops! Don’t worry, codename namin yun sa kanya.
One of our guy friend told me na wag nga daw ako sasama sa mga yun dahil sakit daw yun sa ulo ng management. It’s as if no one gets in their way lang ang peg nila. The bulliest of them all kumbaga. I assured that friend na I don’t get along with those kind. Ako pa naman, kapag hindi ko sila bet, deadma sila sa world. They’re non-existent. Whenever makakasalubong ko sila, deadma. I am not even looking at them. I don’t want to have our eyes crossed kasi I don’t want the feeling na iniisnaban ako ng mga taong hindi ko naman ginawan ng masama.
I explained to my friend what I have gone through and what are my ‘techniques’ to eliminate those kind of people in my life. I told her my story when I was young and reminded her of what I did to one of those bully co-worker we had. I would like to share them with you too.

When I was young, around second grade. I had a classmate who blackmailed me for at least half of our school year. She saw me kasi with my brother threw the garbage bag near the school when we were on our way home. Kabilin – bilinan pa naman ng teacher namin na wag daw itapon sa kung saan. We should bring the garbage sa bahay. So then, that’s what she used to blackmail me. For her not to tell my teacher what happened, she asks for my baon which I gave her dahil sa takot kong malaman ng teacher namin. We have done that for I can’t remember how long. I only able to buy two pesos worth of soup of the day sa school and that would be my snack for the entire day at school. Until one day, I had a classmate na nakatabi ko sa upuan whom I was able to get along with. She became my new friend. Hindi ko na kinakausap si bully, or not even looking at her. I just noticed na tinigilan na rin nya ako. I completely forgot about her until the end of the school year because of that new friend I had.

When I reached high school, I am being bullied again by a guy and his friends. Crush ko kasi yung isang friend nila so they always making fun of me. They will change my chair to a broken one para hindi ako makaupo ng maayos.Hindi ko naman sila pinapatulan. I tried my best to become ‘one of them’ as their friends ba but they seem to dislike me. Half of the school year came, I get along with another set of friends. Even though hindi sila tumigil, I tried my best na lang to not pay attention to what they are doing. When they change my chair to a broken one, I’ll simply replace it with another chair. That went on and on until the school year ended. After that, sa tuwing makakasalubong ko sila sa corridor ng school, hindi ko sila pinapansin.. at all. When I reached college, I saw the guy na pasimuno ng pambubully sakin back in high school. I didn’t notice him talaga, kinalabit nya ako then waived at me. I then accepted it as peace offering na lang sa mga ginawa nyang pang – aasar sakin.
I can’t remember any instance of bullying when I reached college kasi my friends there were great. Mga simpleng asaran lang. I am thinking nga na ako na ata ang mahilig mang – asar nun. Hehehe. =) pero I make it a point naman na it’s not bullying. I know where to stop and the limitations ng pang – aasar. Awa ng Dyos di naman ako napaaway. =)

I also have this officemate na sobrang lakas ng trip. She will shout at you whenever she wants na tipong maririnig ng lahat. Oh yeah! She’s ahead of us kaya ang lakas ng loob. Ipapahiya ka talaga nya or worst, ipagsasabi nya pa sa iba ang mga bagay na hindi na sana sinasabi pa sa ibang hindi naman ka – close ng group. She has done that to me too. Actually she’s not alone naman sa office, they’re plenty of them. You know what I did to her? Isang malaking pang dededma. I don’t talk to her unless she talks to me. When she’s making papansin, I am not looking at her. Kapag nagpapasikat sya iba, it’s as if I don’t care at all. That’s exactly what I made her feel. And the result? She never bullied me anymore. She doesn’t shout at me and she doesn’t talk nasty over me.

Bullies will only bully you when you let them. If you feel something isn’t right, Pag pinapahiya kayo sa maraming tao, if they’re making fun of you, tells you nasty things and made you feel inferior, let them have that feeling na ‘you don’t care’ kasi that will be an insult to them. Don’t let them feel superior. If you get affected of whatever they said, they’ll know your weak. I know it, kasi I’m one of them. Jokes!! =)
Bullying has gone hot seat these past few years when cyber bullying killed children across nations. It can be one of these days na it will be our child na ang ibubully ng iba. So then here are the things I would love to say to James when he encounter those kind of people.

a.       Ignore them. This has been very effective on me James. Tried and tested ko na ito. The more they feel that you don’t care (if they’re pointing out something about you physical appearance), the more you give them a hard time bullying you. Show them na you accepted yourself as you are, Anak. You may not be perfect but your family and true friends loves you from what you are, not for what you look like.
b.      Assess your friends. You will always have a feeling of those who wanted you as a friend. Stay away to those who have the tendency to bully you. You don’t need them in your life, Anak.
c.       Love yourself. Acceptance is one way to threaten those bully to make fun of you. As I said, if they saw you have not have a single insecurities over yourself, you’ll not give them any reason to bully you.
d.      Understand them. I have read Anak, na those bullies are those people na hindi pinapansin sa bahay. They might have undergone some trauma nung bata pa sila and bullying is one way for them to feel superior and for them to overcome it or maybe their way to hide their feeling of inferiority. Kapag ganun anak, iwasan mo na lang. Don’t stress yourself sa kanila. Nakakapangit yun eh.
e.      Communication. This is very important, Anak. There will always be those people na kahit sangkatutak na na pang dededma ang gawin mo sa kanila, hindi ka nila titigilan. If it reached to a point na sobra na and you think you have done your best to stay away from them or maybe you have been telling them to stop but they didn’t or If the situation calls and you have to teach them a lesson, then go ahed. Pero dapat super last resort na yun, anak ha? Just tell me. Nanay sa Nanay na ‘to. Hahaha =) Just tell me, James. It will make you feel better and secure at the same time. I will never judge you. As long as you know that what you did is right, then so be it. I’ll have your back, just tell me what exactly happened, we’ll face it together. Okies?! =)

Bullying can be a pain in the ass. It costs too much, minsan nga buhay pa. Just don’t get your child feel that they’re alone in this battle. Cheers to bully – free kids!!

Remember, these are the things that worked for me for the longest time. Anything you want to add here? Lemme know mothers!!
Till next! 

1 comment:

  1. Wow congrats on your new blog and new theme! I like it.
    Well, with your post, the best thing is to ignore them but bullying happens everywhere from school,workplace or any public places. One time, I experienced this but not me who being bullied, at the grocery store, ang sungit ng saleslady sa customer na ahead sa akin, with eavesdropping narinig ko lahat ng pinagsasabi niya sa Ale, I don't like seeing somebody who's being humiliated infront of other people. Nagsisigawan kami hangga't makalabas ako ng store, maluha-luha yung saleslady sa kasasagot sa akin and mind you, I was a teenager back then, walang class-class sa akin, at least,naipagtanggol ko si Ale. But now, I learned a lot not to be bullied, confronting them also helps in some way but you have to do it well based on your own judgment. Bullies have low lives and they want you to feel bad because they feel bad too!


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