I feel low today. I am really sad that my yaya failed me. She really did. Sabi ko pa naman on my last post na sana magtagal sya dahil ok naman ang pagaalaga nya kay James. I am fine din naman sa mga klase ng trabaho nya sa bahay kahit mejo hindi Pulido, napagtatyagaan naman. In the first place, hindi naman ganon ka kalat ang apartment namin.
Ok, Here’s what happened.
Last Friday, before I went to work, I did some shopping especially yung mga necessity talaga like rice grains, eggs, sugar etc. Yung bang kailangan na kailangan talaga sa bahay at hindi na makakapag hintay ng weekend.
Anyway, I bought 5kgs of rice grains nga. I placed it on our storage and noticed na hindi napuno so I said, kulang pala ang 5kgs sa storage na to sa I planned to buy another 5kgs tomorrow (Friday) para mapuno ko. They said that it brings luck din sa household if laging puno ang bigas on your storage. For me, wala naman masamang maniwala dun kasi it’s a necessity naman (bigas) and it would feel secure na may kakainin kami in the next couple of weeks diba?
Eto na nga, As the week passes by, napapansin kong kumokonti ang bigas. Our usual consumption of rice is only 3 takal a day. May tira na yun ha? Until earlier today when I woke up, I noticed na parang ¼ na lang ng storage ang bigas (transparent kasi yung storage). So nagtaka talaga ako ng bonggang bongga mga ateng! I asked her to go to wet market to buy our lunch na lang. I gave her Php500. I requested for a porkchop to fry.
While she’s away, hindi talaga ako mapakali kakaisip sa rice grains kung san napupunta. I seldom get home naman with tirang rice. My instinct was telling me to check her bag. The last time I saw it, it was hanging near our door tapos parang walang laman. When I looked at it, mejo bulky na sya. I know what I did was bad pero I didn’t bother, I saw a paper bag on her bag na natatakpan ng 3 pcs of clothes. The paper bag was sealed with a packaging tape and it seems that it was hard to open. Kinapa ko lang to feel ang laman, I thought it was apple kasi I was telling her since Monday na may apple sa ref and she and James may eat it. Binuhat ko na yung supot from her bag and felt rice grains. I touched to identify what’s on top but I can’t tell. I placed everything back to her bag and gave myself a little time to think. I was telling myself na baka naman someone gave her that paper bag with rice grains inside. I thought I’ll check what’s inside the paper bag and re-seal it with our packing tape. Oh! Great idea! However, I can’t find the tape from where I placed it. I gave up pero hindi talaga mapakali ang instinct ko. I took the paper bag again and cut the tape that seals it. I made sure na hindi masyadong obvious na binuksan. I finally opened it! I was so nervous, it seems like I can’t feel my hands. I was so shocked to see what’s inside.
* I saw my old shirt and a sleepwear dress - the shirt was old na pero maayos naman. I actually gave it to my niece pero I wore it once pauwi when we slept over. The sleepwear dress I bought in tiangge when I was pregnant with James to comfortably sleep.
* Rice Grains – I saw and I confirmed that it was my rice grain. I touched it kasi and since ako ang bumili, alam kong that’s from our storage. It was sold kasi only in the wet market for Php52 a kilo and it was not available on any near store around our house. Okay, that explains kung bakit biglang naglalaho ang bigas ko.
* Canned Sardines and instant noodle – I saw my canned Ligo na nakapatong on top of the grains along with 1 pack of instant noodle.
Yung totoo te!! Parang relief goods lang ang peg!! Juice colored!! She could have asked me for those things na lang diba? I’ll be very glad to hand her some. NKKLK.
I didn’t get anything from the paper bag. I put back the tape and placed it everything inside her bag from how I took it out. When I was putting it all back, I saw merong umbok sa may bulsa sa loob ng bag so I opened it too.. I was shocked even more.
* Peanut Butter – Hindi din nya pinalusot ang peanut butter. Isinalin nya sa mallit na garapon ng cheese whiz.
* Medicine – James was sick couple of days ago as I said here. I was told na yung medicine nya for cough was enough na daw and ubos na, sakto lang sa dosage and days na required syang uminom. I found it inside her bag more than halfway full.
* Old phone – I had this old phone that won’t open. It’s placed only sa underwear drawer namin. Well, she also wants to the old phone.
Geez!! I don’t know what to do at that moment! I told Daryl what I saw and he said na paalisin na lang daw. I was having a second thought up to now because I need her. My life was so convenient having her, James is at ease with her, He even wants to go with her na than mine sometimes. She knew James’ behavior in a short span of time. I have trusted her, everyone did. And now this?
I was thinking that she badly needs these things to get to their everyday life. Maybe walang - wala sila at kapos na kapos sa araw – araw but she could have told me that she’s badly in need. I could have given her her money until the 15th of February.
Last Saturday, She was asking for Php1,500 advance. I gave her the amount she’s asking without any hesitation. Hours have passed, she’s asking for another Php200 because she needs daw as panggastos dahil they used the Php1,500 to rent a house. I didn’t give her the Php200 because I assume she’s fine. Hindi na kasi sya nagsabi after that text message when she came back on Monday. I assumed that she’s fine. Now, I am thinking that wala talaga syang panggastos that’s why she took some things from our house.
Earlier today, she sent a text message saying that she has to go home because she’s not feeling well. She said na meron syang cough and colds at baka mahawaan pa si Jami. She was even asking for money to buy medicines daw.
As of this moment, she went home na. She said na nilalamig daw sya at masakit ang ulo so she really has to go home. Kakalipat lang daw nila sa bagong house so she’s worried na baka maligaw sya if sobrang gabi na sya uuwi. Daryl and I goes home kasi at 11pm na so she can’t wait for us any longer. She suggested that she’ll James to my sister na lang who lives just walking distance away from home. I agreed and I told my sister na kinin na lang si James at hayaan na ang yaya na ipuslit ang mga kinuha nya. Kunsensya naman nya ang magdadala nyan at hindi ako.
I am just really sad. I am a Mom too and I understand that she has to provide for her son pero she could have asked me na lang, nasaan naman baa ng kunsensya ko kung alam kong kailangang – kailangan pala tapos I won’t give her anything diba? Lalo na kung meron naman ako.
I didn’t make a confrontation earlier, I wanted to process what’s going on and to balance everything. I need her for my son although other people said na hindi ko na dapat pinagkatiwala si James sa kanya dahil sa small things nga hindi mapagkatiwalaan eh, sa anak ko pa kaya? I worried to much knowing na baka ibenta nya pa ang anak ko, or pabayaan if I confronted her and pinalayas sya right then and there. I don’t want to tell her naman na nakita ko sa bag nya all those things kasi it would turn out na pakialamera ako (which I did naman talaga) pero I want to come out here as the victim at gusto kong maintindihan nya na mali ang ginawa nya. All she needs is to ask me, magbibigay naman ako. I was trying to come up with something na hindi naman masisira ang relationship namin. I was thinking of giving her a chance thinking na she get really well with James. Pero now, I am having a second thought. She left my son which was her responsibility until I go home.
I don’t know if she’s done this before but I saw her carrying her bag/paper bag twice this month this month. Ok naman ang pakikitungo naman sa kanya, even my brothers ok din sa kanya. Tomorrow, Nanay will be back from Ilo-ilo and she’s aware of the situation. She said she’ll talk to her daw although I want Nanay and I to talk before they/us three do. I don’t know if I still want her.
I’ll give you an update tomorrow of what we’ll do to her of if she still has the guts to come back. Or maybe she just has to go home tonight to bring the stuff home or she’s aware that I know what she did.