Tuesday, January 6, 2015

On Living Together

I only have 2 hours to go before my shift from work ends! Yess… konting tiis na lang. Pero ang totoo, wala naman akong ginagawa at work and this would be a time for me to blog. I started reading the blog of Mommy Krisna of Life as TheCeo and it was hilarious. Check her out by clicking the link.

Anyway, I would like to let you know that Daryl and I have been living together halfway of December. As I promised from my previous post, I am sharing this to you guys just to let you aware of what’s keeping me busy/worried/happy nowadays.

I used my 13th month pay to rent this small house on the same village that my Mom and siblings live. I wanted it that way para naman meron akong matatakbuhan in case I need to specially for James. If he’s sick and I need advices of what to do or simply someone to look after him when I am away. Although I had a new baby sitter, which I prefer to tell you on a separate post, I still feel more secured having my relatives nearby. I never asked Daryl to share a penny on the deposit/advance since it was me who’s insistent in moving. I want to be able to know how life works since it will be of the same path naman later on.

Type A din ba ang tawag sa personality na ito Mommy Fleur? Hehehe.

Nowadays, I am getting used to the fact that I am living on my own so I have to deal with everything on my own too. Nasabihan tuloy ako ni Nanay to still learn to talk to them if necessary. Say for example sa handa nung Media Noche, I could have saved money on just having my share on what they are cooking kasi same lang din naman daw sa gusto kong lutuin. I just want to learn to do stuff on my own din naman kasi sana. Heheh.. Mamarunong lang. =)

Anyhoo, the first few days and weeks of living together is a little harder than I thought. Daryl wants to live on the same community where his Mom is. Okay, so you’ll better understand the situation, let me share it with you.

Daryl is an only child. He’s living with his Mom for the rest of his life kasi her Mom and Dad never get the chance to live together - something like that. I actually don’t know his Mom and Dad’s story and I think it wasn’t mine to share. So yun nga, Daryl lived with his Mom all these year so definitely, he doesn’t want the idea of leaving his Mom alone in their apartment. Although they have a lot of relatives around, he feels guilty in leaving her. His Mom wants us to live in their house since mag isa lang sya and of course, that’s what Daryl wants too kasi it would be easier for him. He doesn’t have to feel guilty in leaving anyone else’s behind.
Me? I wanted a different thing. I want to have our own house, to learn the art of budgeting, to be able to do things that I want without thinking that anyone might not appreciate it. You know? those simple things that would teach me to become a better person, as a Mom and as a future wife.

Feeling ko Type A din talaga ako kagaya ni Mommy Fleur. Hahaha!

Daryl accepted the fact that I never want to be living with our in laws. It’s not that I just don’t want to but because I want to learn things with just the three of us. I also let her Mom know of these while I was looking for a place to rent one time when I texted her. It was the same exact reason – hindi naman kako masama siguro na matuto kami ng sa amin – I said.

On the other hand, Daryl wanted to live with his Mom because mag isa nga lang daw kasi ang Mom nya sa apartment nila and he thinks that they have more room for me and James. Clearly, there’ll be a spot for us pero sa mga gamit ko, wala na. Besides, if we will be sharing with house rent, why won’t we rent our own na lang diba? I think It’s the same lang naman. One thing na ipagkakaiba lang is that, we may have our food for free kasi most of the time, his Mom cooks, which is one of the things that I want to learn too. I want to know how much ang iba budget namin for our food din so if we are having free food courtesy of his Mom, it defeat the purpose din.

Now, we are living on our own rented house – a small house that is just enough for a small family, a room that fits us, a small sala/dining area, a kitchen and our own bathroom. I’ll show it to you on my next post. =)
I know it would be one hell of an adjustment for Daryl but I kept on telling him that at least, the three of us are now together. I completely understand how he felt the first few days since he misses the atmosphere of their place. Madami kasi yang friends sa kanila na kaya syang yayain for basketball game, computer games etc. It’s kind of hard din minsan na feeling ko he wasn’t matured enough with this new chapter pero he chose this din naman eh. I asked him before if he’ll go with me and James when we rent a new house, Oo daw.

I would never know how it feels like to be an only child because I belonged to a big family of 5 siblings plus Mama and Papa. We grew up on a completely different cultures so I know this will be one hard journey. It would be a rollercoaster ride but as he said, wag daw kami susuko. We can do this together. In fairness to him naman, he is trying his best to adjust. Maybe I am giving him too much pressure before that’s why mejo pinagtatalunan talaga namin but currently, I am doing my best to understand him better and I know he is doing the same to me naman. We are working on it one step at a time. =)

Yan ha, I let you in with one of the things that I am scared of sharing here sa blog kasi I am scared that I might receive comments from some judgmental people but hey, it felt good sharing things that has been on my mind, heart, stomach and kidneys for the longest time. Constipated na nga ako! Hahah. =)

One thing that we are sure of, we wanted to get married this year. A simple wedding would be enough. I don’t want to be as extravagant as James’ birthday since it would be a civil wedding that we are planning. In the coming days, I will be busy in making asikaso that so please bare with me. =)

Kayo? Any idea how a civil wedding works? Please share! =)


  1. Thanks for sharing part of your private life, Jen.

    Mahirap ang nakabukod pero you will learn a lot.

    Na-try ko na rin tumira with in-laws and I will never ever recommend that.

    Then, we tried living in our own, near my husband's parents.

    But now, we decided to live far from them. Things are much difficult but more meaningful. Mas marami kameng natutunan. In fact, our child is in the hospital right now, kameng 2 lang ng husband ko ang nag-aasikaso.
    My case might be different from yours because we don't ask help from our parents (both sides) totally. As in kame lang mag-asawa talaga. Dito nga namen nate-test yung "sa hirap at sa ginhawa". And you will really realize that in the end it's you and your spouse thru thick and thin.

    You're blessed because you have supportive families but I want to commend someone like you who choose to live independently. #womenpower

    It won't be an easy life pero alam ko kakayanin niyo yan. Pray lang.

    P.S. Civil wedding lang din kame. Super simple. 5k nga lang nagastos but that's way back 2009.

    God bless you and your family :)

  2. Yung eksenang na-special mention ako! Hahaha! Thanks, sis! Heto di ako makatulog kaya blog mo naman pagdidiskitahan ko. :-)

  3. Pray lang sis na maka-adjust si bf/hubby mo. But keep in mind na hindi mawawala yung mga worries niya lalo't mag-isa lang pala sa bahay si mommy niya.

    Good luck in managing your own household, sis! Mahirap yan sa simula pero masaya! :-) Iba kasi talaga kapag nakabukod kayo. Mas mafi-feel mo ang pagiging ina at asawa mo, marami kang magagawa na hindi mo basta-basta magagawa kapag may ibang taong nakapaligid sa'yo. Basta push mo yan and don't forget to pray. :-)

  4. Hanga ako sa bravery mo Jen. Tama sila, maraming adjustments pero kaya yan basta magtutulungan kayo. You'll learn a lot kapag nakabukod at mas masaya. Pray a lot for God's guidance. =)

  5. Kaya nyo yan Jen, kami ni Ian we decided to live on our own. Kaya 1 month after we got married, talagang lumipat kami. Sa una mahirap, but eventually masasanay ka na especially sa budget. Mas masarap ang nakabukod, walang makikielam sa inyo, magsigawan man kayo or maglambingan, okay lang kasi kayong pamilya lang ang nasa bahay. Now na mag 3 years na kami, I must say na mas naging matured na kami. :)

    About sa pagluluto, kaya mo yan. Mas masarap mag explore lalo na pag 3 nalang kayo ni James sa bahay.

    I'm so excited about your wedding bells. If you want help, just let me know ha. :)

  6. hi mommyjen, how much ba ang naiisip mo na budget for the civil wedding rites? :)

    1. Hi, i am actually anticipating to spend only P10,000 on everything with a very minimal guests lang.,


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Mommy Jen