Saturday, May 30, 2015

Fighting in front of a Toddler

Living in one roof with your long time partner was one of every girl's dream. You wanted to build a happy family with your love of your life. Great ideas, right? All good things possible, everything that you could think of that would make the relationship work, happy moments, bahay - bahayan.. Masaya lang.

In reality, it's not always happy. There were days that one of you feels down and the other won't understand. Assuming things work the way you wanted it to be then being mad at your husband or partner that it didn't turn out how you expected it. You consistently remind him na put everything back to it's place even the smallest things like toothbrush or toothpaste left everywhere.

Lately, Daryl and I were having a misunderstanding about random things. There was this time that he went home later than me where usually, we go home together. It was someone's birthday and he wants to have small chat with them. What I didn't like about it was, he didn't tell me ahead of time so I can also plan things for myself. Eh magkasama lang naman kami that morning before I went to work. That started the fight.. (very mababaw, I know).

We talked on the phone while he's on his way home and I was talking a little loud (maybe shouting). As soon as I hung up, I saw Jami's face a little worried that I am mad and kinda scared of what he just heard and saw.

Naguilty lang ako mga ateng! =(

I talked to him to minimize the worries he had by playing together. Then a little later, I got mad again since I remembered something that wasn't done yet so I called Daryl again and he said that he's in a nearby place na. When I hung up again, I saw Jami's face looked really, really sad while lying down looking at his car's spinning wheel.

Kinurot alng ang puso ko! =(

I was really sad too knowing that Jami can feel that his parents were fighting. I talked to him though he can't understand me yet. I asked if he doesn't want us fighting. I bet he doesn't want the idea of us shouting and fighting with each other. I remember the times when Daryl and I were joking around, doing wrestling then Jami saw us, shouted very, very loud looking really worried. Then we told him, we weren't fighting. We were just playing..

Looking back, I remember my parents whom I never saw fighting in front of me. I never heard them screaming or throwing things at each other. I never knew how they do things quietly but I can't remember any single moment that they fought. Then here I am, fighting with my partner in front of my toddler. I felt bad whenever I pictured out how Jami's face looked really sad. =(

I told my Mom officemate about what happened and she said that it's a good thing Jami is making himself involve when he see us (joking around looking like we're hurting each other but we weren't). That only means that we (Daryl and I) show a loving and happy environment that whenever Jami thinks we are fighting, he gets in the way. She said that if a toddler or a kid doesn't care if we fight or hurt each other, that means, the child sees us fight and hurt each other like a normal thing.

 Also, there were days that Jami would punch (very lightly) me or Daryl and we would tell him "no, it's bad". Pero minsan, I feel like trying na ipagtanggol din si Daryl for myself like "Don't punch Daddy, it's bad". In that way, I think, he would feel that Daryl and I cover each others ass in things like that, showing that we care, love and is protective of each other. =)

With that thought, I think I grew up a little bit. I told Daryl about what I felt and I know he too realized what I was trying to say. Never fight in front of kids. Practice what we preach and be a good person for Jami.

There were times that I want to make drama but Jami kept on laughing while we're home so I really can't do heavy drama sa bahay. Anyway, I just love it. It feels good that way that I don't have to do dramas before Daryl knew what I want to say. Jami makes my life easier.. I love it.

So there Mommies and Daddies. Never.Ever.Fight in front of your kids. Don't shout at each other when they're around. It affects their developments emotionally. Be careful.. =)


  1. Correct. Never ever fight in front of your kid/children. Kami ni Ian pag nag aaway minsan pag tulog na si rhian or minsan tinutulugan ko nalang sya para matigil lang. But the following day pag gising ni Rhian at nangungulit na samin, nakakalimutan na namin yung away namin. Iba talaga nagagawa ng mga anak natin sa atin noh.

    1. Oo nga eh.. Nakakaaliw lang sila. Nakakalimutan ko tuloy yung sasabihin ko kay Daryl most of the time kasi si Jami nginingitian ako eh I can't stay mad..


Thanks for reading my humble blog.
Leave me some love, I'll visit your blogs too.
Much Love,
Mommy Jen