Wednesday, June 13, 2018

What to do when another Mom hits your kid?

This happened two weeks ago. I actually had no intention to blog about it but this blog became a part of my motherhood journey so bakit hindi?

So here's what happened.

I let Jami play outside while I am doing household chores. We usually make sure na meron yang bantay when playing outside of the house. Alam nyo naman din ang panahon ngayon, mahirap na mawalan ng anak so either Daryl or Nanay or me would come with him sa labas ng bahay while he's playing with his friends.

That day, since meron nga akong ginagawa sa loob ng bahay (defrost ng ref dahil sobrang kapal na ng yelo), Jami was left outside playing with the son of our neighbor. They live couple of house away sa amin but since I know that my aunt is outside too, mejo naging kampante naman ako na matitingnan tingnan sya.

When my aunt called me to tell me na sunduin ko na raw si Jami because they went a little farther and dun na sa daanan ng mga sasakyan, I went out para sabihan na pumasok na dahil gumagabi na rin. When I came out of our gate, I saw them on their way back. Sobrang happy nilang dalawa and they were just laughing about their adventures. When they came malapit sa akin, I said:

Me: "Jami wag na kayo dun sa malayo!" (with a mejo malumanay pa rin na voice).

But since they were so carried away sa paglalaro, they didn't notice me.

Both of them running passed by me. The next thing I saw was the playmate's Mommy holding a thin stick pointing at her own kid. Pinapagalitan nya.

Mommy: "Diba sabi ko sayo wag kang pupunta dun?" while pointing the stick to her child's face.

While these happen, si Jami na walang pakialam continued playing and also pointing the gun on his playmate. This gun was a little long although hindi naman tumatama sa muka ng playmate nya, he was pretending na binabaril nya yung kalaro nya.

The next thing I know, pinalo ng thin stick ng Mommy yung arms ni Jami (na may hawak ng gun pointing at the playmate's face) and said "Wag mong tutukan sa mukha" with a matching angry face.

It took 3 seconds for me to process everything that's happening at that time. After mag sink in sa utak ko, I felt all the blood in my body went up to my head. I bet the Mom didn't see me standing there at nakita ko kung anong ginawa nya.

After 3 longest second of my life, feeling nabastos and so hurt, I called Jami angrily. Malayo na kasi sya dahil after sya paluin nung Mom, the playmate and him ran dun sa may tapat nung house nung kalaro nya. I was so mad talaga! When the Mom heard me, she looked back and we both looked at each other. She might have been scared kasi sa tingin ko pa lang parang sinasaksak ko na sya! Hahahah! Kidding. But yeah, it felt that way.

That Mom started walking away after namin magkatinginan for a moment. She went back sa tapat ng bahay nila still holding that thin wood without looking back from where I stood. Because I was so mad, I walked towards Jami to make him go home. I passed by the Mom without looking at her but I was really furious at that time. I held Jami sa braso and told him we are going home. Jami still seemed happy and his playmate without them knowing the situation. Lumapit kami sa playmate (whose a little younger than Jami) to give back his toy gun.

Me: "(Child's name) ayan na yung toy mo!" Hindi ko naman sya sinigawan. I didn't even look at him basta ang importante naibalik na ang gamit nya. Immediately, lumapit yung Mom to where we were standing. Natakot siguro sya for his son na saktan ko or baka gantihan ko ang anak nya.

Nung napadaan kami sa tapat ng group ng mga Nanay sa neighborhood na madalas kakwentuhan ng naka encounter kong Mom, I told Jami "Bakit hinahayaan mong sinasaktan ka ng iba?!" Although I know Jami won't understand, pinarinig ko talaga just so these group could let that Mom know na nakita ko ang ginawa nya. I know they did kasi they were looking at us.

When we got home, nanlalamig talaga ako and I felt kulang pa ang ginawa ko. I should have confronted the parent angrily to let her know na sobrang mali ang ginawa nya! I should have fought her dahil maling mali ang ginawa nya in hurting my son - in front of me! I was thinking of going sa barangay to file a complaint but I begged off. I was so furious pinapagalitan ko si Jami that the next apartment could hear all my frustrations. Wala akong pakealam kung pag uusapan nila ako! All I know was, makakasakal talaga ako ng mga oras na yun.

Anyway, I didn't do anything. I told Daryl about it and he said he'll talk to that Mom daw. I told Nanay about it the next day and she got really mad too. Of course who wouldn't? We don't want our kids to be hurt, more so being hurt because someone we dont know hurt them. Ang mas malala pa is someone who are not part your family! Yung mga taong wala naman karapatang gawin yun sa anak mo?!

I never hurt kids that are not my own. Mga pamangkin ko? Maybe napapagalitan ko or napapatulan ko but that was when I was younger and had no kids. I don't know the feeling just yet. When I became a mom, when another kid hurt Jami, I make him go home instead. Nilalayo ko na lang sya sa mga batang ganun rather than putting my anger on another kid. All they know is to play so they will never understand it the way we do so bakit kailangan mong saktan? Ako kasi ang rule ko, kung may problema kayo sa anak ko, tell me. Isumbong sa akin dahil ako ang didisiplina at kakausap sa kanya. Keep telling me kung hindi nagbabago. I will never allow anyone to hit my son! Sabihin sakin ang problema and I'll fix it with Jami. Hindi kailangan pagbuhatan ng kamay.

After that incident, I never saw the mom in the neighborhood. Maybe hindi ko lang nate tyempuhan or baka tinataon din na wala ako sa labas. Although hindi naman ako tambay sa labas dahil hindi ko ugali yun. I'd rather stay inside the house and do chores or cook, or watch TV. Last Sunday when I allowed Jami to play outside while raining, pinaligo ko sa ulan with another kid, I saw them playing in front of the house of monster Mom again. I was looking from afar until I saw the gate opened tapos sumilip yung Mom. Tiningnan ata sina Jami because they were collecting water galing dun sa alulod nila. When she saw me, she immediately closed the gate again. I was thinking na baka pagagalitan yung mga bata but I was there so hindi na lang nya ginawa.

I decided to keep quite after that incident not because hindi ko kayang ipagtanggol ang anak ko, I just don't want na magkaron ng kaaway sa labas ng bahay. I let it pass but will never allow it the second time na makita ko. Mas okay na yung sya yung may atraso sa akin kesa nagpadala ako sa galit ko that time and do something really bad. Now I see na sya na rin naman ang umiiwas sa akin. Regardless kung may mali ang anak ko or hindi nya gusto na tinututukan ng toy gun sa mukha ang anak nya, she should never hit anyone dahil bad yun. Sayang, mukang kasundo pa naman ni Jami yung anak nya but I will never allow Jami to play with this kid again. I actually spoke to Jami that afternoon and asked him not to play with that kid anymore

I am just really hoping na hindi na lang maulit. I got so paranoid thinking na baka kapag pumapasok si Jami sa loob ng gate nila before when he's calling his playmate eh pinapalayas nya or baka binabatukan. Diba? We will never know because she seem to do those things kapag walang nakatingin. Malas lang nya na nakita ko ang ginawa nya at nabuking ko sya. Even now na naaalala ko yung incident, I still feel a little anger. Feeling ko kasi hindi ko sya napag sabihan pero ayun nga, I am just letting it go for the moment. Wag ko na lang makikita ulit na gawin nya.=) .

Anyhow, it's been raining from the last couple of days. Keep warm and safe everyone! =)

2 comments:

  1. Nako muther, naintindihan kita and I believe lahat tayong mga mommies, ayaw naten na sinasaktan ang mga anak naten ng ibang tao. I salute you for keeping your cool at that moment. At least aware ka na sa ganung incident and watchful ka na lalo para di na maulit. :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Em, sana nga talaga hindi na maulit kasi baka makapatol na ako hahaha! Anyway, naging careful na din naman kami. Sinisiguro na may bantay si Jami lalo kapag lumalapit sya dun sa playmate. :)

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